Jess chimed in… she says I have it all wrong… I don’t need to keep searching for meaning of why I do what I do. After watching my behavior over the past 7 years, she’s noticed that a large part of what’s subconsciously motivating me is the dopamine hit that comes along with making decisions and completing a project. It’s all the more potent when the project is successful. Despite sharing all the work, acceptance isn’t my motivation, my biochemical addiction to making the work is. Having it seen is just finishing the work. What’s been done doesn’t feed the addiction. Attention doesn’t feed the addiction. Making work feeds the addiction. Now that it’s pointed out, it plain to see that she’s obviously right, that a coping mechanism (reward) for being left alone and a strategy to gain positive attention has, 50 years later, remained very much the same. It simply feels good to make work. It’s pretty much that simple. It feels good to work through something that is arguably without point, and yet still feels meaningful. The wonderful magic of dopamine.